"When we don't have the words to describe our feelings, we're
not just lacking descriptive flourish, we're lacking authorship of our lives."
~ Marc Brackett, PhD
Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence
Senior Research Scientist in Psychology at Yale University.
Hello, beautiful people!
Wow!! Thank you for the connection and the inspiration following last week's newsletter. You all have some INCREDIBLE porches, and places you settle into, for moments of respite.
Let's hope our lovely porch-sitting weather continues!
No matter what, here's to our ongoing commitment . . . let's keep practicing the power of the pause.
We Are More Than 3 🙂 😡 😢
"My message for everyone is the same: that if we can learn to
identify, express, and harness our feelings, even the most challenging ones, we can use those emotions to help us create positive, satisfying lives."~ Dr. Marc Brackett
This brings me today's message. I know the color-coded-grid in the photo at the top is not the easiest to decipher. But, if you are new to Dr. Marc Brackett, and his genius Mood Meter, allow me to introduce you.
A few months back I wrote about a study (done over 7 years, with over 5,000 participants) revealing most people can only identify three emotions: happy, angry, and sad.
To learn more about how to identify emotions, simply click here.
“Within yourself is a stillness and a sanctuary
to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”
~ Herman Hesse
Please join me:
Joining you in a few deep breaths? Delightful!
Settling into breath. Inviting in stillness.
Simple, right? 🙄🤔
Summers in Saugatuck are busy; I am grateful.
Grateful for the expanded teaching opportunities.
Grateful for the new friendships that are formed.
Grateful I live in a place where people travel for their vacations.
Yes, the busyness is exhilarating and exciting.
However, this same busyness can also be stress-inducing and tiring.
To read more about the POWER of the PAUSE, please click here.
". . . I loved having the whole day to flow from calming yoga to creative painting. Thank you for creating a wonderful and safe environment . . ."
~ 2021 Participant | Art Of Connection
Maybe it's the dramatic drop in humidity?
Or, the brilliance of the blue sky overhead?
Perhaps it's my luxurious opportunities to float out in the Big Lake?
No matter the reasons, I am thankful for the extra bounce in my step.
I hope you are also finding ways to slow down. To relax. To find stillness. And, to cultivate joy.
Last week I wrote about self-security, or the nonjudgmental acceptance of one's own weaknesses. Wow! Turns out? Digging into this one is a beautiful release.
"May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children."
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
Recent events in my life have me reflecting on some specific moments from my past. And, truth be told, I was not at my best in these moments. 😔
As I opened myself up to reflection, I got very still. And, I got very curious about my past behaviors and actions.
Curiosity, rather than judgment, allowed me to honestly, gently, investigate:
I now understand that personal insecurity was at the root of many of these troublesome moments.
Researchers Alice Huang and Howard Berenbaum have done some fascinating research around the idea of insecurity.
They have found that, "we can have high self-esteem but still be insecure if we're overly critical of our imperfections. Because our self-esteem is an assessment of who we are and what we've accomplished compared to our values and our goals, even with high self-esteem we can still insecure if we're self-critical."
They explain that the opposite of "personal insecurity" is "self-security," which they define as "the open and nonjudgmental acceptance of one's own weaknesses."
Acceptance of my own weaknesses? Well, that sure puts a rub against my perfectionism and pleasing tendencies! 🤔🙄🤪
Turns out, Huang and Berenbaum might just know what they're talking about. 😉
Their findings show that people who are self-secure are more self-compassionate and are more willing to be vulnerable with others.
And, guess what? When we have more compassion for ourselves, and are comfortable with our own weaknesses, we are more likely to have stronger connections to others and thrive in healthy relationships.
So, this week (and I'm sure for MANY weeks beyond that!) I'm going to try and foster a non-judgmental acceptance of my own weaknesses. I am certain this softening will enhance my self-worth, my self-compassion, and the strength of my connection with others.
If this practice resonates with you, I'd love for you to join me!
Let's see how we can soften and support one another all along the way,
P.S. Join me for an incredible retreat!
🦋 Art Of Connection happens just once a year 🦋
You don't want to miss! Saturday, September 17
Registration is open, and Early Bird pricing is available.
Questions about the day? Check out our webpage, or reach out to me directly 🌸