The 90-Second Rule

Decks & Rooftops

I am loving being outdoors. Our Yacht Club Yoga class finally made it onto the rooftop; the weather was PERFECT!

Yoga and Sound Baths at Lakeshore Resort have been amazing as well. ☀️

Earlier this week we got to sail with some very special friends from Team OBIIS (One BIGG Island in Space). It doesn’t get much better than that.

And, yes. There have been some storms, and some rain, and some high winds, too. June is giving us its all.

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“You only have what you give.
It’s by spending yourself that you become rich.” 

~ Isabel Allende

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Hello!

I’m hoping last week’s 5-step PAUSE has been useful. 💝

The more I practice it, the more readily I can drop into a place that is quieter and calmer.

My favorite step is the last one: Enjoy.
When I get there, my insides seem to smile. I’m reminded to linger with what’s nourishing me.

Ahhhhhh, here’s to more savoring! Why not bask in delight a little longer? 🤩

Lately, I’ve been wondering how to help ourselves when something really aggravating pops up. You know . . . when something, or someone, triggers a strong internal response? 😤

None of us are immune to the chemical stew, the cortisol bath, that can make certain moments hard to navigate with grace. 🤬

When I’m feeling super activated, I may need a different tool:
The 90-second rule.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist and stroke survivor, discovered something remarkable. When we experience an emotional trigger, the neurochemical response lasts about 90 seconds.

After that, what remains is often the story we are telling ourselves about what happened.

“The initial wave is involuntary. But what happens after that 90-second window is, to a significant degree, within your influence.”

The 90 Seconds that Could Save Your Relationship
~ Figs O’Sullivan

Wow! 🤯

If I can ride the wave for 90 seconds . . . then I start to have choice?

So, that argument I had last month didn’t need to take over my afternoon?

That rattling piece of news didn’t have to steal my sleep?

Ninety seconds is pretty quick. Seems manageable, right? 🤷🏻‍♀️

And yet, we can all think of moments where enduring 90 seconds feels impossible. 😖

How do we help ourselves through the wave?

• Observe it without acting.
• Notice what it feels like. (Hot? Tight? Cold? Heart rate up?)
• Set a timer.
• Breathe through it.

Why do the feelings stick around after the 90 seconds?

Because we replay the event.
We build stories around it.
And when we defend, deny, excuse, or deflect, we jump right back into the chemical bath and start all over again. 😔

So, what I do during those 90 seconds can shift a lot about how I move forward.

Rather than trying to control all the BIG feelings, I’m going to try and let them move on through.

That small lens shift may pack some real power.
Let’s start there.

With love, light, and 90 seconds worth of peace, every time,
m