Pause & Reflect

"May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children."

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

​Recent events in my life have me reflecting on some specific moments from my past. And, truth be told, I was not at my best in these moments. 😔

As I opened myself up to reflection, I got very still. And, I got very curious about my past behaviors and actions. 

Curiosity, rather than judgment, allowed me to honestly, gently, investigate:

• What was at the root of my behaviors at that time?
• How could I have responded or reacted differently?
• Do I respond differently in similar situations today? 
• Is there something I need to do to make amends for my past actions? 

​I now understand that personal insecurity was at the root of many of these troublesome moments. 

Researchers Alice Huang and Howard Berenbaum have done some fascinating research around the idea of insecurity.  

They have found that, "we can have high self-esteem but still be insecure if we're overly critical of our imperfections. Because our self-esteem is an assessment of who we are and what we've accomplished compared to our values and our goals, even with high self-esteem we can still insecure if we're self-critical."

They explain that the opposite of "personal insecurity" is "self-security," which they define as "the open and nonjudgmental acceptance of one's own weaknesses." 

Wait. What?! 

Acceptance of my own weaknesses? Well, that sure puts a rub against my perfectionism and pleasing tendencies! 🤔🙄🤪

Turns out, Huang and Berenbaum might just know what they're talking about. 😉

Their findings show that people who are self-secure are more self-compassionate and are more willing to be vulnerable with others. 

And, guess what? When we have more compassion for ourselves, and are comfortable with our own weaknesses, we are more likely to have stronger connections to others and thrive in healthy relationships. 

So, this week (and I'm sure for MANY weeks beyond that!) I'm going to try and foster a non-judgmental acceptance of my own weaknesses. I am certain this softening will enhance my self-worth, my self-compassion, and the strength of my connection with others. 

If this practice resonates with you, I'd love for you to join me! 

Let's see how we can soften and support one another all along the way,

m 

P.S. Join me for an incredible retreat!
🦋 Art Of Connection happens just once a year 🦋
You don't want to miss! Saturday, September 17
Registration is open, and Early Bird pricing is available. 
Questions about the day? Check out our webpage, or reach out to me directly 🌸